We caught up with first time mum and Mums with Tots reader, Banké Laycock, to hear more about her experience with motherhood. Here’s her story. 

“So, I never dreamt of being that princess on my white wedding day when I was a young girl. I never imagined myself in that white picket fenced, detached house with a husband barbecuing and kids playing in the back garden. My life was quite complete thank you, going to my fantastic job during the day and spending my evenings out with the girls debating the finer points of why the cosmopolitan trumps the daiquiri or spending a romantic evening in with the husband drinking far too much wine and fighting over the remote control. In fact being a mother happened to me in spite of my lifestyle, the same way marriage did. It sounded like a good idea.

Then she came along.

I realised that my world, while complete was not quite complete enough. I feel that while I was experiencing everything, it was all in black and white. With her smile, the sun shines brighter, with her touch, the air smells fresher and as she sleeps, my world is at peace. Just when you think you think your heart cannot contain any more love, she does that little thing and your heart almost seems to expand to pack some extra love in. If everything fell away around me, I would be content. Though she is minute in comparison to me, she manages to hold me in the palm of her hand. My world has stopped, completely engulfed in hers and for the first time in my life, I’m completely okay with that.

There is also the weird behaviour I have begun to exhibit. Stalker-like obsessive checking that she’s breathing if she’s been quiet too long. Rushing into Accident and Emergency on a Saturday with the [extremely valid, thank you very much!] complaint that ‘She has not pooed for TWO DAYS!’. The competitive monster that looks at other people’s children and silently triumphs ‘Ha! They are so not as cute as you sweetie!’- shameful, I know. I’m working on that part.

All in all, my husband and I have this little slice of heaven that has changed our world and she was the best idea we have ever had. Until she starts sneaking out at 16 and hanging around boys.  Then I suspect the next idea would be to purchase a rocking chair and a shot gun.”

- Banké Laycock

Half term is almost here again and it’s time to start protecting your sanity and survival for that week! Some places you can check out…

Bramleys

Adventure and soft play centre.
www.bramleysbig.co.uk

The Museum of Childhood

A great day out. Admission is free and the facilities include a café, buggy park and baby change facilities.
www.museumofchildhood.org.uk

Battersea Park Zoo

Lots going on during half term week. A great alternative to London Zoo and cheaper too!
www.batterseaparkzoo.co.uk

SEA LIFE Aquarium

www.sealife.co.uk/london

Easter Egg Hunt:

Well Easter would not be Easter without this. Do your own one at home or check out these 2 great venues this Easter:

Belmont Children's Farm in Mill Hill NW7.

Odds Farm in High Wycombe from 2-5 April. Follow the Spring Trail and win yummy treats. They have Tractor and Trailer rides, a designated petting/patting area, and loads of enjoyable viewing for some lovely animal fun!

Fun things to make this Easter

Colouring Easter Eggs:

Children can have great fun decorating real hard boiled eggs- all you need is some paint, stickers, crafting material and a huge dose of imagination! Try thumbprints- get your little ones to dip their thumbs in paint, press onto the eggs, and let them dry. Later on you can add googly eyes, woolly hair etc to make it more fun. They're really great gifts too.

Easter Cards:

Home-made cards are much more fun than store bought ones and cheaper too. Get a selection of crafting material (mostly yellows, greens, whites and oranges) and let their imaginations take over.  Making fluffy chicks, bunnies with carrots, and woolly lambs will keep the Easter spirit fun and lively. For example you could dip some big balls of cotton-wool in yellow paint, allow it to dry, and then mount it onto card in the shape of a chick. Add eyes, black wool for feet, and personalise it to your taste. A great card to accompany a great Easter gift.

If you are like me, I can reel off a thousand things I could be doing better as a mum without much trouble- more patient, more organised, spend more quality time with my daughter to name a few, but find it harder to say the things I do well as a mum.

 I was at a mothers group I run the other day and I asked the mothers to name three things they felt they did well as mums and without exception everyone struggled to name one thing, but all had a thousand things they could do better at the tip of their tongues.

 I guess as mums we sometimes place huge expectations on ourselves that we often forget to enjoy being a mum and instead it becomes part of our 'to do list'

 There are so many things we as mums do well at....here are a few

• We are great multi-taskers
• We are instinctively selfless when it comes to our kids
• We make great friends for other mums
• We give and give and when we are tired, we give some more!

 So as we approach Mother's day, I hope you are made to feel special and appreciated for all the things you do and for who you are, but most importantly take time to appreciate yourself for all the wonderful things you do that nobody else does quite like you!

 Happy Mothers Day.

What is Postnatal Depression ?

Having a baby is usually a positive experience for mothers and fathers; society expects us to feel happy and fulfilled as we welcome a new life into our world. Yet parents have a major readjustment to deal with, these include the loss of independence, changes in financial status or security, and sometimes changes in relationships with those in different circumstances. Although you may feel prepared for these changes, having a baby can still be a shock for many people.

It is perfectly normal to feel emotional, vulnerable and sensitive after your baby is born. Some mothers may feel confused about their feelings – that they should be overjoyed and instantly fall in love with their baby. This is not always the case and there are understandable reasons why you may not feel like this. For example you may have had a difficult labour or a traumatic delivery which has left you feeling exhausted and possibly unfulfilled of the expectations you may have had. Don’t forget we are not taught how to be mothers; it is something we need to learn for ourselves, and at this time of our lives we sometimes need to be mothered ourselves.

Baby blues

Approximately one in two mothers experience baby blues after the birth of their child. These typically occur between three to five days after the birth. One theory is that they coincide with the hormonal changes that occur as the breast milk starts to come in. Other theories are that the baby blues are due to the ‘come down’ after the effects of endorphins, or that they are a sort of physical shock reaction after the upheaval of birth. You may feel weepy, irritable, have a low mood and feel that you lack confidence in caring for your baby. This is very normal and these feelings usually subside after a week or so. It is perfectly acceptable to have a good cry and to talk to someone about how you are feeling.

Postnatal depression

Postnatal depression is a recognized and treatable condition that affects approximately 15 – 20% of new mothers. It can affect anyone irrespective of background. Although it can occur straight after the birth it often does not get acknowledged or recognized until later on. However, for some women it may come on later in the year – some women get depressed after a few months. The most common signs and symptoms of postnatal depression are low mood, anxiety, inability to look forward to anything, lack of motivation and extreme tiredness. Some mothers may not actually feel depressed but may feel far more anxious or agitated which is a common symptom of PND. They may not know what they are feeling anxious about and may experience panic attacks due to their anxiety. These feelings can be very frightening; however they are very normal and symptomatic of PND and will decrease and eventually disappear with recovery. Some mothers may be feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of having a baby and may become anxious about the baby’s health and sometimes their own health.

Puerperal Psychosis

This is a totally different condition to postnatal depression. It affects approximately one in five hundred to a thousand new mothers and usually occurs within the first six weeks after birth. The mother may experience delusions, hallucinations and erratic behaviour; family members commonly notice these first. This condition is considered a medical emergency so it is very important for family members or friends to contact the woman’s GP if they are concerned. Usually this condition is treated in hospital, preferably in a mother and baby unit, where, if appropriate, the mother can have her baby with her.

This series of articles has been kindly contributed by Liz Wise. A specialist PND counsellor.

01483 454789, 07773 283556, lwise@talktalk.net www.postnataldepresssion.com

Next Article : Getting Help and support.

Hello my fellow mums with tots! I am excited about this newsletter as it’s the first since the website was re-launched in January. Some really exciting new things we would like to share with you.

What’s New

Brand new classes:

• We are launching our long awaited Mini Movers dance classes for 1-3 year olds at the royal free recreation club on the 25th of April.  Spaces are limited so book in advance!
• A special fitness class for mum and baby, also at the recreation club for mums with babies 6weeks to pre-crawl. 
• Postnatal Pilates classes at Gymboree 02 centre Finchley Road every Tuesday 1.45 -2pm.
• To celebrate the recent launch of The Organic Pharmacy on Hampstead High Street, the renowned health and beauty brand has teamed up with Mums with Tots to bring you an exclusive offer. When you visit the store – 44 Hampstead High Street – you will receive 15% off The Organic Pharmacy’s best-selling Mother& Baby range. Simply quote ‘Mums with Tots’ when you visit the store.

Did you know?

Mother's Day is the contemporary version of the original name - ‘Mothering Sunday’. The occasion has a long history, which dates back to as far back as the year 1600. During that time, the poor used to send their children to work as domestic servants or trainees in the homes of higher class of people. Once in a year, these children were given leave for a day, so that they could visit their Mother Church as well as their own mother.

The children would visit their Mother Church and then head straight to meet their own mother, with some fresh flowers. While the boys would present their mother with flowers, girls would go a step further by presenting them freshly baked handmade cakes, which were also called ‘Simnel Cakes’. With time, the holiday came to be known as 'Mothering Sunday'.

Have a very special and well deserved Mother's Day on the 22nd of March!

What’s on

Wednesday Parent Mornings

The Organic Pharmacy, 44 Hampstead High Street on selected Wednesdays from 10am to 12 noon.

These are special open mornings for parents to drop in and meet our homeopaths who will be discussing various topics in children’s health. Tea and organic nibbles will be served.

View poster for dates and more information (1MB PDF)

Paediatric First Aid Course

Saturday 4th April and Saturday 25th April at the Swiss cottage library 11-1.30pm.

More information on Paediatric First Aid

Bye for now!

Welcome to our new and improved website!

We are excited about all the courses we have to offer, particularly our new pregnancy workshops and postnatal care course.

We look forward to meeting you and keeping you updated about our events. We hope to provide you with relevant and practical information and more importantly, give you the support you need.

To sign up for our bi-monthly newsletter please send us your details.