Mums with Tots

We caught up with first time mum and Mums with Tots reader, Banké Laycock, to hear more about her experience with motherhood. Here’s her story. 

“So, I never dreamt of being that princess on my white wedding day when I was a young girl. I never imagined myself in that white picket fenced, detached house with a husband barbecuing and kids playing in the back garden. My life was quite complete thank you, going to my fantastic job during the day and spending my evenings out with the girls debating the finer points of why the cosmopolitan trumps the daiquiri or spending a romantic evening in with the husband drinking far too much wine and fighting over the remote control. In fact being a mother happened to me in spite of my lifestyle, the same way marriage did. It sounded like a good idea.

Then she came along.

I realised that my world, while complete was not quite complete enough. I feel that while I was experiencing everything, it was all in black and white. With her smile, the sun shines brighter, with her touch, the air smells fresher and as she sleeps, my world is at peace. Just when you think you think your heart cannot contain any more love, she does that little thing and your heart almost seems to expand to pack some extra love in. If everything fell away around me, I would be content. Though she is minute in comparison to me, she manages to hold me in the palm of her hand. My world has stopped, completely engulfed in hers and for the first time in my life, I’m completely okay with that.

There is also the weird behaviour I have begun to exhibit. Stalker-like obsessive checking that she’s breathing if she’s been quiet too long. Rushing into Accident and Emergency on a Saturday with the [extremely valid, thank you very much!] complaint that ‘She has not pooed for TWO DAYS!’. The competitive monster that looks at other people’s children and silently triumphs ‘Ha! They are so not as cute as you sweetie!’- shameful, I know. I’m working on that part.

All in all, my husband and I have this little slice of heaven that has changed our world and she was the best idea we have ever had. Until she starts sneaking out at 16 and hanging around boys.  Then I suspect the next idea would be to purchase a rocking chair and a shot gun.”

- Banké Laycock